simcha is the beauty of the aged

What does it mean to be truly beautiful? You can recognize it from the energy you feel when you’re around an old person who smiles and their wrinkles squeeze together and their eyes light up. They have lived all of life’s ups and downs and come up on top, enjoying, laughing, joking, and being real….

Being a frum Jew at work: ‘what are you starring at?’

Working professionally in the real unsheltered world can pose many challenges for us ‘obvious Jews’. We’re obvious because we wear a kippah, have dangling white strings poking out, wear skirts…always, or have the exact same haircut every single day. Plus we don’t eat ‘their food’ or go out for drinks Friday night. The inspected vessel…

What is real modesty in a Yeshiva setting?

Modesty is more than what we see on the outside or how we dress. Indeed the actual word ‘tzniut’ is the opposite of what is external. It is the underlying concept of looking deeper, within the person to see something greater than the sum of the parts. Here’s a great article about how tzniut can…

Feeling attractive with modesty

Living in a society where girls and women alike think flaunting all their bodily assets is the way to feel attractive, I love being ‘different’. I take a lot of pride in dressing modestly, It’s my little contribution and responsibility to lead by example – to inspire and empower women to be proud of how…

Conformity in dress for the baalei teshuva

A great article “Wearing My BT Badge with Pride” was posted on the BT website recently about conformity of dress in the baal teshuva world. Have a read of Ilene’s article. My feedback: I think the big difference is in the self-esteem of the individual. If one is comfortable with who they are on the…

Balancing modesty and self expression

Modesty is much more than how we dress. It’s about our thoughts, actions and words as well. So when you try to do and act in a way that’s not attention grabbing (or seeking!) how do you still express who you are on the inside? We often use clothes, words and actions to say who…

Media vs. Modesty – another brilliant piece by Gila Manolson

In a great excerpt from her new book ‘Choosing to Love’, Gila Manolson once again plainly and simply gives us the statistics and the logic about the fight that we have on our hands. I’m not a socialist by any means and in fact I work in the advertising industry, but that gives me the…

tzniut: why does our dress code matter so much?

One of the first changes I made on my baal teshuva journey was to dress tzniusly. I threw out the (very) tight jeans, tiny shorts, bright red boots, tank tops, and quickly went shopping to add to my one and only below-the-knee skirt. For me it was an easy change. Yet, for others it seems…

hobbies are external

I like to write and I like to paint. I like to take photos and critique food. Yet, I’m not a writer or a painter or a photographer or a food critic. I am me. Don’t reduce me to my hobbies. They are only and always will be external to me. That is Middos 101….