I wrote this on 13/10/2007. It was my bit of sanity before I took the big leap and opened myself up to the possibility of a different future. At the very start of where I am now this was an integral element – to write myself a mission statement.
Now I am there, on this journey, where ever that is. I no longer need the safety of my mission statement. It is internalised. Now I can share it with the rest of the world:
Within this year I plan to gain a deeper understanding of the ethics and philosophy behind Judaism. This will be undertaken with a completely open mind to its truth or lack of. I can return to a secular lifestyle at any time I want and I should not be afraid to explore other peoples’ opinions.
I am currently extremely happy with what I have and satisfied with life in every way possible. I am coming from a good place and feel comfortable within myself. I have always considered myself very lucky to be born so happy and with such strong appreciation for life and everything around me. I am blessed to have the family I have, and content with my spiritual, emotional, intellectual and physical self, although, like with all other people, there is always room for growth
I am neither searching for a way out nor am I looking for change. I am a philosophical person who believes in doing what is right, doing what is best, and living the most optimum life I can. I am therefore open to change if this change is for the best.
The purpose of my exploration is therefore to clarify the validity of practicing the Jewish faith (the practices my ancestors had participated in for hundreds of generations) – to determine its truth and integrity – whether such a change would in fact be best. If it will be true, as it appears from first glance, then I should learn as much as possible to enable to live honestly and with clear purpose in order that I can build a family whose practices and ideals are not built on tradition and customs alone – but on the true meaning of life.
For myself, I will ensure that even when my beliefs differ from that of my family’s, I will not pass judgement on them, nor act as though I am on higher ground. They are always equal and will always have a lot to teach me. Their love is unconditional, as mine should always be. Where there is conflict of interest or a gap, it is I who has chosen a different path and it must therefore be I who makes every effort possible to bridge any differences.
For my future family, I will teach them that tolerance is most important and difference should be embraced, not turned away. Everyone and everything is here for a purpose and everyone has their own journey and challenges to face. Yet, there is a truth to life and one should make an effort to both discover it and act upon it. Religion and an observant way of life should add to a better understanding and better involvement in reality, not to take you out of reality to a level where the physicalities are not appreciated or become irrelevant. From where I stand now, I want my husband to work in the real world and learn spirituality. From where I stand now, I want my children to get a formal practical education and learn spirituality. The learning of the Torah and life’s principles should make every aspect of the planet more real, more enjoyable, more beautiful and more meaningful – that is, it should add to a clearer picture of reality and its use, not only remain in the spiritual realm.
As for me, I will always be true to myself, live with integrity and give as much as possible to my family. I hope to live a life where I love every minute even more so than I do now. I shall always remain an individual with my own uniqueness and contribution.