Sometimes life throws us curve balls, fire, narrow bridges, deep darkness, and an array of other ‘stimulants’. As our human nature dictates we often react with fear, sadness, anger and defiance.
At some point, hopefully sooner rather than later, we must make peace. With ourselves, but also with our circumstances, for we can’t control them. And yet what are our circumstances other than Hashem’s guidance for each of us? Precise and deliberate, Hashem gives us exactly the dose we need and can handle. Ultimately Hashem can and does control our circumstances. And in His control of them we need to recognise that the myriad of negative emotions we feel are really directed at Him.
Like spoilt children we get angry at the hand that feeds us. We turn to Hashem and plea for something else, for our own understanding of truth. Is that not arrogant? Is that not ungrateful?
The greatest and often the hardest thing we can do is let go of our limited expectations and see the bigger picture. Hashem only gives us what we need, with love, endless love. While we sit and view our circumstances from a meter away at best, He sees them in the space of infinity. His clarity is far greater than ours will ever be.
So, as hard as it is, stop, breath, and make peace with Hashem.
Maybe you’ll grow from the experience, maybe you won’t. At the end of the day, be clear about who is in control and who you’re actually angry at. Hashem can close doors but He can also open them. Stop carrying your circumstances on your shoulders. It’s so heavy. Humble yourself to Him, to His choices for you, and you’ll feel the load slip off your shoulders faster than you can imagine. He only wants the best for you, and He’s waiting to give it to you as soon as you’re ready to bring Him in and crown Him king. He’s waiting for you.