When I hear people say to me that my belief in Hashem is a crutch, an inability to manage my own life myself with my own brain, I think of crutches. Yes, Hashem is my crutch, a.k.a crutches. And it really is ok to lean on your crutches.
Are you a better, bigger person for not ‘needing crutches’? I can just imagine my response to this post before I became a practicing Jew: “I don’t need crutches, I’m fine without them!” What usually happens after that statement is you fall. i.e. your circumstances change and somehow you can’t just rely on yourself. What a scary thought in our society – “What, I can’t rely on myself?! No! I have to rely on myself! It’s MY life!” Where would all the independence go, the need to not rely on anyone or anything?! These days that seems to be how we define strength; strength entails not needing to rely on anyone but yourself. That’s true freedom…right?
Wrong. The greatest freedom we can have is the knowledge, acceptance and humility that we can and should rely on others. Is it scary? Damn straight! It is if you rely on people who aren’t trust-worthy or who don’t have your best interests in mind. Don’t rely on broken crutches! How silly would that be!
The greatest safety you can feel, and the greatest freedom to be yourself, is when you can let go and lean on the crutches. It’s such a relief. A breath of fresh air. Suddenly you can walk again. You’ve chosen to be dependent in order to be independent.
So next time someone offers their judgment on your crutch in some all-mighty, all-powerful, all-loving, all-giving Being, say thank you. At least you are not afraid to lean on your crutches. You are not crippled. You are walking. Keep walking!