Breaking up to opportunity

It was sparked by a question: “what are you doing there?” Maybe no one has asked me so directly before, or maybe I was too afraid to ask myself. But I heard the message and realised that I was deep within my comfort zone, hiding. Now change has become the answer.

Sometimes we have to take life by the horns. To create change, to create opportunity we must do our hishtadlut, we must act. Sometimes that involves taking risks, and always, that includes breaking up from what was.

We can’t move forward and create change when we hang onto our current situation. Change is just as much about letting new opportunities in as it is about closing existing ones. To grow personally means to also depart from who you are now. To gain is also to lose. To give is also to take. Every new minute we have we don’t have the previous one.

So now my time has come to close some doors and to step into the opportunity that awaits. The hardest part is not the risk of the unknown that’s to come. The hardest part is to leave behind the known, the familiar, the safe, and the love.

Today I walked around the office and broke up with people. One to one and in small groups: “It’s not you, it’s me”. I’ve been at the same work for five years and built some very close relationships. The break up was personal. The response was everything from tears to shock (I’m sort of part of the furniture, how can I go?!), to “I’m so proud of you! Can I come?” It really makes you realise how much time you give to work and how much work is just the people within it. It’s a great loss for me, but the only way I can bring on new opportunities.

And then comes my family. My grandfather was one of the last people I told. Breaking up with him? I can’t do it. And yet I did. And what’s crazier still is he understood. Sometimes we just have to try something out of the box, to explore, to take a risk.

Risk is only relative to your priorities in life though. Sometimes you have to take seemingly big risks to serve a higher priority. It’s a big loss to break up with what I have now. I have a lot. I am extremely blessed. But I know it’s right, for I know I break up for the opportunity of finding something so much greater. I’m looking for my soulmate, and no amounts of comforts, jobs, friends or even family can compeat with that.

So Jerusalem, here I come!

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