What does it mean to be truly beautiful? You can recognize it from the energy you feel when you’re around an old person who smiles and their wrinkles squeeze together and their eyes light up. They have lived all of life’s ups and downs and come up on top, enjoying, laughing, joking, and being real. Every scar and wrinkle is one they love because it is their lives.
In our baal teshuva journey we sometimes forget to enjoy the journey. Stop. Give yourself the chance and the time to enjoy the process. And when you’re 120 you can look back and smile at it all. Then you will know beauty. Then you will be beauty.
As Rabbi Nachman of Breslov puts it:
מצווה גדולה להיות בשמחה
It is a great mitzvah to always be happy.