Not sure how accurate this is, but here are some points to consider, a great starting place, about the dos and donts of being a successful baal teshuva…and Yid in general. Check out the full article from Beyond BT.
1. Don’t stop practicing, even for a short time. At the same time, don’t take on a new mitzvah until you’re ready. No one expects you to go from 0 to 100 overnight or even in a year.
2. Give yourself room for mistakes, ups and downs (in all areas of life). A righteous person falls 7 times and gets up. The key is the getting up.
3. Keep your family relationships (it’s as important as featuring in the 10 commandments).
4. Learn enough halacha to know when you can be lenient. (marry such a person or have a Rabbi who you can ask).
5. Find a Rav who is sensitive to Baal Teshuva situations. And don’t believe hearsay: There’s lots of grey. That’s why we have Rabbis. Ask your Rav, you will get the right answer for you.
6. When you ask a sheila (question) make sure you inform the Rav (you ask) of all the details. Details are important, especially re: non frum family.
7. Have bitachon that everything you encounter is designed by Hashem specifically for you.
I’d also add:
8. Judge favourably those who aren’t as far as you (there’s always room to grow) and those who are frum but slip up (everyone makes mistakes).
9. Accept that Judaism is a system and like all systems there are those who don’t represent the whole. Don’t reject the system because of a few.
10. Surround yourself with inspiring people you can learn from.
11. Remember that in all your actions you are representing all Jews. Always consider the messages you give out.
12. Realise that Judaism is about community & giving. Who are you giving to?
13. Keep your eye on the ball. It all comes back to building a relationship with Hashem, Oneness, tikkun olam and bringing the most out of your neshama.
If anyone has any other tips for surviving the trials and tribulations of being a baal teshuva please add comments!