This is a great mp3 about defining love for oneself, with others, and with Hashem. It’s free for download or to listen online. Highly recommended.
Marriage – Defining Love – Rabbi Kelemen
Some interesting points from the shiur:
- “Torah is a system for becoming a person capable of intimacy”, with yourself, others and Hashem. To me that says that we’re not born with this ability and our life is about learning this skill.
- You create love by giving and one of the biggest stoppers of giving is low self esteem.
- Giving love means letting go of what you want in place of what the other wants – doing simply for the sake of the other. It means wanting to let go for the other. It’s about making his/her priorities into my priorities.
- Love is not a 50/50 proposition, but a 100/100 one. i.e. giving without stopping.
- Giving love to yourself means giving yourself the basics a person needs – sleep, good food, exercise and spiritual freedom.
- The concept of marriage means ‘to carry’ – i.e. “no matter how heavy you get, I’ll carry you”.