Feeling attractive with modesty

Living in a society where girls and women alike think flaunting all their bodily assets is the way to feel attractive, I love being ‘different’. I take a lot of pride in dressing modestly, It’s my little contribution and responsibility to lead by example – to inspire and empower women to be proud of how they look without the compromise of being modest.

In a society where all the messages (from media, men and women alike) say you have to flaunt it to be sexy, I have experienced the exact opposite, that you can feel very sexy all covered up. How? Because sexy or attractive doesn’t equate to revealing. In fact, I would argue that the power of a women is in her mystique, her inner energy, the “there’s more to me than what you can see”.

Ever noticed how today’s royalty dress? They don’t look unfashionable or old, but they also don’t look cheap or like they are showing off their assets. They look…respectable, and that’s not a coincidence. To be respected and taken seriously you have to present yourself as such. Around 80% of communication is visual so don’t be offended that others interpret who you are by the way you dress. Your dress isn’t you, but it is a representation of who you are. We therefore have to dress in a way that gives us depth, that shows that there is more to you.

Dressing modestly not only makes you feel more sexy and womanly, but also makes those around you notice you in a completely different way. I often watch as women look up and down at one another (yes, this happens all the time). What I see is the negative response on their faces when they see a ‘barely-dressed’ woman. The expression is always something along the lines of: “she must be freezing” or “she looks so uncomfortable in that” or “someone is trying to get attention!” And no, it’s not jealousy, it’s more disgust than anything else. On the other hand, I know from personal experience that a woman who dresses modestly gets the opposite response. I’ve had numerous random comments such as “I like your style” or “I wish other women had more pride in what they wear”. I love giving these complements to women and I love getting these comments because they show an inner yearning for something more than what society is presenting. Women are (from the depths) yelling out to get back to real beauty, to fashion that includes self-respect, not destroys it. Looking good can be so attractive when it’s tasteful. It can give you a boost of confidence and make you feel like you are so much more than your skin – and you are.

If anyone has some good stories about reactions or responses you’ve had to dressing modestly (or not) I’d love to hear them! I’d also encourage everyone to lead by example and compliment those who can pull off the balance between dressing modestly and being attractive.

JenniferGarner and ZhangZiyi

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