My mum always told me that balance is key in everything in life. Sometimes that balance is very hard to find, to develop, to achieve. The last 2 weeks have been go go go at work. It’s been the fastest, most intense week in my career to date. Although it’s been stressful it’s also been extremely satisfying. The feeling of deadlines, chasing people, suppliers and not having time to eat really gives me a rush and when the deadline is reached, it’s extremely satisfying. Yet, after almost 2 weeks of this, a thought came into my mind – where is Hashem?
I know, it’s a strange question. Apart from Hashem being everywhere, it’s not always easy to find Him in our crazy busy lives. To find Him we must look, we must search, we must do the hard yards. With as much or as little time we have we must put the effort in to let Him in. The results are always obvious: when we open a crack, he opens up the world. My learning has slipped over these last 2 hectic weeks (and also has my blogging). Today I had the biggest meeting of my life with a bunch of managers who are savage at best. I prepared for the meeting: on the 7:10am train into work I opened up a pocket version of Strive for Truth and read. I simply put myself into Hashem’s world and connected as best I could. This sounds trivial but it is very very real. Rabbi Dessler’s deep philosophy as my morning pick-me-up was exactly what I needed to re-ground myself in what is real and true in this world. I regained my balance and was therefore much better armed to tackle the daily grind. As a baal teshuva especially, balance is vital. It’s very easy to sink back into the ‘norm’ of society and slip away from what is truly meaningful in the world. Today I put the effort in and got back my balance. Then, Hashem helped in the meeting.