I’ve realised today that our emuna seems to be tested only when we are. When we really want something to happen or create change that is outside of our control, that is when our level of emuna is really evident. And control is the key word here. Our lack of control in a given situation is the space where Hashem and only Hashem is in control. Where we create the void, Hashem fills it. Yes, our feelings of control keep us feeling safe, but what could be safer than trusting in the Infinite Being? Are we so scared of letting go of what we think we know of ourselves and the world around us that we keep Hashem out? Do we think we can better ‘fill’ our lives with what is ‘best’ for us than Hashem can? I think not.
What do we do then? The more we realise that Hashem is actually always influencing our situation, in every possible way, the easier it is to let go and give Hashem the benefit of the dought in the more serious or more emotionally significant situations – i.e. “whatever the outcome, even if it goes against what I want or think is right, is ultimately good for me. My situation was, is and always will be designed specifically to test me in the ways that I need to be tested to grow.” With this realisation in mind I believe the goal is this:
To step back every once in a while (if not all the time) and realise that even the little things are in Hashem’s giving hands. Don’t wait for him to test you in the big things that you really want, realise His control now and give Him that credit all the time. At the end of the day, He deserves it.